Anal Sex 101 – Why Guys are Obsessed
By Natasha Burton for Cosmopolitan
Anal sex tops the "must try" list for many guys…but it's not exactly up there for most women. We asked a few seasoned sex experts why men are so fascinated by the idea of getting into our back doors. Here's what they revealed.
Throughout history, anal has been known as a sexual forbidden fruit of sorts. This off-limits factor makes it especially appealing to men, says award-winning erotica author Darren Michaels.
"Far too many men equate what they watch online with what they want their sex life to be," Michaels says, and this couldn't be truer than when it comes to anal. Now, anal sex is a standard when it comes to porn, so most guys have seen it in action, even when they weren't necessarily looking for it.
HE THINKS EVERYONE ELSE IS DOING IT
Because anal has become so mainstream in porn, guys might feel like they're missing out if they're not doing it too, says sexuality counsellor Ian Kerner, PhD, author of Good in Bed.
BEING IN CONTROL EXCITES HIM
Michaels says that part of the anal appeal comes down to one thing: power. Having the upper hand can be super-hot, especially for men who aren't particularly domineering in their day-to-day lives.
IT'S A NOVELTY
According to sexpert Emily Morse, men like variety, so something new and different will be especially appealing. "For many men, anal sex is seen as a 'gift' from their partners—something rare, and special," she says.
SEX WILL BE SUPER-TIGHT
In true biological terms, Michaels says, anal sex is typically tighter and therefore can offer more friction and sensation. To a guy, that sounds amazing.
HIS EX LOVED IT (ALLEGEDLY)
While Michaels notes that most women prefer vaginal sex over anal, some really enjoy it—and ask for it. He says that if a guy's last partner was down with anal, he may want to do that with his next partner, who may or may not be comfortable with it.
THERE'S LITTLE TO NO CHANCE FOR PREGNANCY
On a practical level, there's little chance of getting pregnant during anal, points out Kerner (technically, his semen could leak out and find its way up there, so you still need to be careful). Of course, most of us aren't expecting to get preggers each time we have vaginal sex, but there is always that possibility.
"Anal is it's all about sex for the sake of sex," Kerner says. The rawness of it turns men on, he says—plus, there's a thrill-factor when a woman makes herself available in this way.
On an emotional level, a guy might be into anal because of how intimate it is, Kerner says. Unlike vaginal sex, there's a lot of prepping that needs to happen, plus more communication and foreplay involved during the actual act. Morse adds that having it can also demonstrate a sense of love and trust from his female partner that she's willing to give all of herself to him.
HE'S AN ASS MAN
Simply put, Morse says, many men just love the female behind and want to be really, really close to it.
So should you try it if you're not into the idea? Heck no.