How to Find a Female or Male Partner for Swinging

Of all the questions that we get asked on a regular basis, this question is always on the top of the list. "How do I find a partner to swing with?" Every person’s situation in life is different and every individual is different physically, sexually and mentally. 

This web page will assist you in finding a female or male partner for swinging provided you meet some of the basic requirements that swingers are looking for in a compatible partner. Many single men and women are tired of the bar scene and run into the same problems as couples do in looking for likeminded people for sexual play. Many singles and couples today are very busy people and are tired of the long process of dating and meeting too many WACKOS or people that play head games. 

Many married couples are very frustrated sexually with a high libido and this frustration can lead to problems in a marriage if one partner has a high libido and the other partner has no interest in sex. Singles are no different in this desire to meet other likeminded partners for sexual play and get very frustrated in locating a consenting partner to swing with. 

Basic Requirements for Swinging

The following is a list of basic requirements that other singles or couples look for in a swinger. These requirements are not cast in concrete, but do represent the majority of likes and wants from other sexually active people. If you are missing one or all of the basic requirements does not mean you will never find a swing partner, but the odds of finding a swing partner are greatly reduced. 

      • Very open minded sexually and a desire to experiment sexually
      • Outgoing personality, honest, sincere and truthful
      • Between the ages of 18-60 or preferred ages of 25-45
      • Able to achieve an erection if you are male
      • Well groomed appearance and able to socialize verbally
      • Be sensual or sexually attractive
      • Middle to high income earner, giving you ability to travel or entertain
      • Disease free! Good oral & physical hygiene
      • Social or non alcohol drinker preferred
      • Good sense of fashion
      • Not missing any major external body parts
      • Sexual drive and stamina
      • Desire to share sexual play and experiences with someone else
      • Prejudice free of race, religion and colour
      • Well proportioned for your height and body type
      • Light or non-smoker preferred
      • Good sense of humour, not pushy or aggressive

I Meet The Requirements - What Do I Do Now?

If you have the desire and willingness to meet new people, you must look for potential swing partners in locations where they hang out or advertise. Introduce new partners to the lifestyle slowly if they are not involved already. Prepare yourself for rejection, not everyone will be falling over you. Get informed about the lifestyle as much as possible. There is a great deal of bad information or outdated information out there. Ask other clubs or swing couples for help, if you are sincere and have a very mature approach, many people and clubs will assist you where they can. 

If you did not meet most of the requirements, your chances are greatly reduced for finding a partner. Some things you might be able to change, but be honest about the things you can't change. 

Places NOT LIKELY to Find Swingers

Although it is important to identify places where swingers play, we felt it necessary to inform you where they will not be found. Many people have a pre-conceived idea that swingers hang out at these locations which is usually the furthest thing from the truth. Although swingers are everywhere in today's society and all around you in every public day life, these are not the recommended places to find them. 

If you are looking for a swinger at these locations, you might have to ask 200 people before you find one person willing to hear more about you and the swinging lifestyle. Most people do not have the time, patience or nerve to ask 200 people about swinging just to find one interested party. Chances are you will be physically assaulted, laughed at, ridiculed, kicked out or terribly embarrassed if you try. 

  • Cruising at your local bar
  • Watching an adult movie at an adult movie theatre
  • Advertising in a local newspaper
  • Visiting a nudist colony or nudist beach
  • Watching strippers at a local strip club
  • Attending a local gay or lesbian bar or night club

Places LIKELY to Find Swingers

The following is a list of some regular meeting places for swingers. Many singles and married individuals feel that they are barred or restricted from these clubs because of their marital status or lack of a willing partner, which is not entirely true. Many of these clubs have private parties or special get together with singles or couples that are looking for something different. Many consenting partners let their spouse play with other partners sexually or get together with a third partner for private threesomes who include males or females. 

Not all clubs will admit singles of any kind, but many couples or other singles are available through these clubs at private parties, special get together or club listings. Your chances of finding a matching partner are greatly increased at these locations and you will never be embarrassed to ask any members or club owners about what you are looking for. Matches for singles are not as plentiful as the matches for couples, so singles must expect that being able to travel is a must for your ability to meet other partners in the swinging lifestyle. 

        • Adult erotic dance clubs
        • Swingers’ listings on the internet
        • Private swing clubs and parties
        • On-Premise and Off-Premise swing clubs
        • Adult lifestyle dinner or social clubs
        • Lifestyle conventions and vacation spots around the world
        • Swinger magazines and contact magazines

How to Ask That Special Someone

If you are already dating that special someone, it is all the better. No matter who the new partner is, you must be honest, sincere, not pushy or aggressive about the subject of swinging. If your new partner is not involved in the swinging lifestyle, ask them to take a look at this web site and ask their honest opinion on what they think about the lifestyle in general. 

With married couples the process towards swinging can take several years or only a few months, so don't expect a new partner to be overly excited in jumping into the swinging lifestyle at the drop of the hat. There is a great deal of sexual and mental preparation before anyone feels comfortable about sharing themselves with multiple partners let alone a new one. 

I Want To Get Into Swinging! - But My Partner Will Never Get Involved!

In this case you have four options available to you. The first is to wait until your partner is ready, which may be never for many couples. We have known and heard of many couples who were both cheating on their partner, because both believed that the other would never agree to have sex with other partners or in groups. Many people are very surprised to find out that their partner has been thinking of the same thing or wanting to experiment sexually outside of their relationship or marriage. 

The second which many people do on their partners is cheat on their partner by having an affair, not a recommended style of swinging we would ever recommend, but we do see this activity throughout society. The third option is to find a new partner by first separating or divorce so you can match up with another person that better meets your sexual needs. Many couples live together or get married and find they are not compatible in the sexual department. Many separations or divorce are based on sexual problems or incompatibilities. 

The fourth option, that has seen a rise in recent years, is discussing the matter with your partner and getting his or her permission to play sexually with other partners outside your relationship together. Many couples today realize that their partners’ appetite for sex is much higher than theirs and agree on the level of play and frequency of sexual play outside of their relationship. We know many couples today that have agreed on this type of arrangement and works very well in a strong relationship. Many people realize that sex and love are two distinct elements in a relationship or marriage. We would definitely recommend this level of play and honesty with your partner as opposed to cheating or using the avails of street prostitutes. It is much safer swinging with other consenting partners compared to the risks of diseases from street prostitutes. 


Just because you may want something, like getting involved in swinging and finding a consenting partner, does not mean that you will find a consenting partner or ever get involved! Swinging is not for everyone. Not everyone can be a pilot or a brain surgeon no matter how much they may want it. The same holds true for becoming a swinger. You may have some financial, physical, mental, marital, medical or other restriction that might prevent you from enjoying the swinging lifestyle. If you resort to cheating, lying or playing head games with other singles or couples in an attempt to join in the swinging lifestyle, you will make yourself and many other individuals uncomfortable or even extremely upset with you. People who resort to this type of bad lifestyle edict always get caught and it does not take long before the word spreads about your bad behaviour. 

We have many males tell us that no women will date them, so how can they ask any women about swinging. If you are unable to get the opposite sex to date you at the best of times, how do you think lifestyle clubs would be any better at finding a date for you? There is usually some reason that the opposite sex will not date you, be honest about this question and do your best to change the circumstances or problems if you can. 

Lifestyle clubs have a much bigger chance on matching up singles that are able to find many dates, but are not yet able to locate a willing partner for the lifestyle. If you are able to find yourself many dates, your ability to match up with another lifestyle single are very high if you start looking in the places where lifestyle singles hang out.

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