Female ejaculation, or squirting, is everywhere in porn. But is it a reality?
Yes! It can be, if you’re set up a certain way and know how to work with your body. But, it’s not possible for everyone, and it’s not always associated with an orgasm.
Female orgasm and female ejaculation are NOT the same thing. They are totally different processes. They can, rarely, occur at the same time, but usually women only experience one or neither (gasp!). I’ve often tried to explain the difference, and teach people about female ejaculation versus orgasm – but there’s so much misinformation out there, and lots of anecdotal and video “evidence” – but not a lot of facts to back it up.
So, I’m going to clear up some myths, and get into the nitty gritty of female ejaculation.
Put on your raincoats, because we’re getting wet.
Debunking the Myths
There are couple of myths surrounding female orgasm and squirting. My favourite one is that female orgasm and squirting are both the same thing. (They’re not.) Many people also assume that every woman can do it if she knows how, if she practices enough, o if a guy “does it right”. Another myth that has some very strong opinions is that female ejaculation is actually urinating. Also #untrue. It’s also assumed that women who ejaculate have more pleasure. Hmm…
So where does the truth lie? Let’s learn!
What is Female Ejaculation?
So many times I’ve had a partner use the wrong vocabulary to try to say, “You’re going to have an awesome orgasm!”. To clear up the confusion, I have this announcement: female ejaculation and female orgasm are NOT the same thing!
An orgasm is, for both genders, “a physical reflex, usually a pleasurable one, when the muscles that were tightened during sexual arousal relax and the body returns to its pre-arousal state. During sexual arousal there is increased blood flow to the genitals and tensing of muscles throughout the body and particularly in the genitals. Orgasm reverses this process through a series of rhythmic contractions.”
An penile ejaculation is the “abrupt discharge of fluid”. We are taught about penile ejaculation from an early age because it’s very common. When a person with a penis ejaculates, they release semen – a milky white fluid that contains sperm. This usually accompanies an orgasm.
Female/vaginal ejaculation/squirting isn’t as common as male ejaculation, and is often mistaken for orgasm by those who aren’t educated in it. Generally, female ejaculation does not happen at the same time as an orgasm and can occur at any point during sexual arousal. This is a release of fluids, rather than the contracting of muscles and releasing of endorphins that accompany orgasms.
Female Ejaculation Versus Orgasm
First, let’s get this straight: Female ejaculation – whether you’re doing it, or not doing it – is completely normal. Some women do it. Some women don’t. Both are totally fine. A good rule to live by is that if your body does it, it feels fine, and it has been doing it for a while – it’s probably normal.
Penis havers are very likely to have their ejaculation and their orgasm at the same time. People with penises are used to their orgasm and ejaculation being the same thing, so they assume (wrongly) that it is the same for people with vagina’s too.
That idea isn’t all wrong. Brown university states that 10% of people with a vagina do experience orgasm and ejaculation at the same time; but that means 90% don’t. The science here is disappointing because, well, there’s not much science about it. Science can clone animals but it still has not figured out women or their orgasms. Go figure.
The bottom line is that female ejaculation and female orgasm are two different processes. While they both can happen at the same, many people have orgasms without squirting – and squirting without orgasm. Some people just have orgasms. Some people ejaculate without them. Some people ejaculate with them. It’s all normal. It’s normal to not experience a gushing orgasm – just as it’s normal not to get off from penetration alone. It’s all normal (and no, you’re not peeing)!
Female Ejaculation vs Squirting
So are squirting and female ejaculation are the same thing? Actually, they’re not. I’ve learned through my research that though we use female ejaculation as an umbrella term, it is actually a different fluid than squirting.
Female ejaculation and squirting/gushing are two different phenomena. The organs and the mechanisms that produce them are bona fide different. The real female ejaculation is the release of a very scanty, thick, and whitish fluid from the female prostate, while the squirting is the expulsion of a diluted fluid from the urinary bladder.
For a long time, female ejaculation was regarded as a myth, and even after confirming its existence, it was thought to be a release of urine from loose bladders. While the scientific community is still figuring out what exactly it is, we know that it’s not pee.
The general theory right now is that female ejaculate comes from the “Skene’s glands, which are located on the anterior (front) wall of the vagina around the lower end of the urethra.” During female ejaculation, it is assumed that the glands fill up and expel fluid into the urethra and then out of the body. Basically, female ejaculate is thought to be the same liquid as semen, but without the sperm. I didn’t find any studies with data on the odor of female ejaculate.
Then we have squirting, or as it’s also known, gushing. This fluid is clear in appearance and is not thought to come from the Skenes glands. While little is understood about why this happens, we do understand that it comes from the bladder – but it’s a different chemical makeup than urine. If you wanna get technical, squirting is like peeing on your partner, except you’re not peeing urine.
This is a thin, watery liquid, with little or no colour, or smell, and without apparent aspect of urine, aside from coming from the same place. Berman says that typically women squirt out a teaspoon or a capful of fluid, yet, some women claim they squirt more than that. Some women can squirt over and over, and some just once. At any rate, remember, it’s ALL normal!
What is Squirting Like?
Personally, I have never noticed the fluid defined as “female ejaculate”, so I cannot express my experiences with it. I only have experience with squirting.
For me, squirting just feels like a big release of pressure. I’d pretty much sum it up as the moment when you finally pee after needing to for a while. It’s a pleasant “Ahh” feeling. I would not, ever, describe it as an orgasm. While pleasant, it is nothing compared to the body-shaking, heart-beating-fast-for-five-minutes-after, orgasms I achieve through clit play. but remember, this could just be me! For me, it’s the opening of the vagina usually that makes me squirt. I have a low G-spot so, when aroused, rubbing the opening of my vagina can get me to cum, but not orgasm!
In my experience, the only information I ever got about female ejaculation was that it is a glorious act and that it has its own section on adult websites.
When I first found out I was a squirter I ignored the obvious signs. Why was the back of my hand wet? Did I let go of my bladder when I came? Lucky for me, (or maybe unlucky for me) I usually only squirt when I am intimate with myself, and not with partners. When I realized what was actually happening, and when it got to the point that I was changing my sheets every time I came I tried to do some research.
What I found wasn’t much. After shuffling through several articles on “Myths about Squirting” and several how-to’s on the subject, there were very little facts. This is a problem. What I did find was that there is very little known about the composition of the ejaculate or where exactly it comes from.
For me, I can only ejaculate with stimulation of the G-spot, located on the front (anterior) wall of the vagina. Depending on different positions, how much pressure is used, and the shape of the toy or body part all affects how powerful or how far I ejaculate. I haven’t quite figured out what determines how much ejaculate I have, which can be a little bit to what can make quite a puddle.
Ejaculation feels very different than a vaginal orgasm. While a vaginal orgasm ends in a release of tension of many muscles, an orgasm where I ejaculate actually feels like there is a physical filling up, and almost a pleasurable pins and needles sensation on my G-spot, (along with the tension of many muscles), until I reach orgasm. At this point it feels like all of the tension is rushing out of my body with my ejaculate. There have been times where I have seen stars, become dizzy, and feel like there is no more energy left in my body.
How do I Learn?
For some women, it is possible, but for others, it’s not. Our bodies all function differently, and while scientists don’t know a lot about female ejaculation, we do know that when it comes to sexuality, there is not a lot of predictability and science to back it up. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try!Most women experience female ejaculation or squirting when stimulating the anterior (front) wall of the vagina – particularly the G-spot. Any type of stimulation can cause it, but most women experience it with a strong, targeted motion – like one that would come from thrusting a curved g-spot toy. However, everyone is different. Many women experience squirting from clitoral stimulation or anal. So it’s important to experiment and see what works for you. Try different speeds, motions, positions, and types of stimulation. Once you find out what makes you squirt, you can repeat it!